Almost everyone has their own family, which consist of father, mother, and maybe even grandfather/mother & brother/sister. I do have a normal family just like everyone does. I'm happy with it, but ever since something which has happened in the moody year of 2003, everything had changed...Once a happy family, has already become a disasterous family right now...

Yeah, I adored my father once before. He has been a handsome, dutiful, responsible, caring, and he has all the attitude which a father should have. I remember when I was young, he almost fulfill what wish I wanted. Just like when I want to possess a desktop just like the others, he bought them for me without any hesitation. Same thing does happens to me for playstation 1/2, and a lot of stuffs more. He's just like a geniue of mine, and granted every wishes I wanted. With such a lovely dad, who wouldn't be more happy than anything?
Our family used to went out for at least once in a year for a family trip to somewhere. Everytime he'll be the lead, and take care of everyone of us carefully throughout the trip.
I don't want to talk much about those sweet memories, cause they're so painful while I recall them...

Everything had changed ever since that day...
Not only that things happened, he has a failure in his own business then. Lot of his debtors either ran away or bakrupt, until a LOT of his debts (I heard my mom said he's sometimes too soft-hearted and let those people delay the time of returning their debts). With that, he has a lot of financial problems just suddenly, and we're almost declared bankrupt...
With the support from all my cousins, we're able to overid this awful problem; and everything's not the same then...
He lost his job after that, and without any choice, he takes up a job as a full-time taxy driver (unbelievable, right? Yeah, he's really working as that job...) Okay, it's nevermind if that's it...He seems to get some serious depressing sickness ever since, and need to take medicine occasionly just to calm his mind down.
A sad thing which is, I've fell victim to his anger sometimes 1-2 years ago. My ears are actually working just like the others, but I think they might be damaged or some sort of hurt by a few heavy slap on them by him...It's not my skin which are pain, but my heart. I cried for a few times from being treated in this silently in my bed. So, it might be the reason of my ears couldn't hear that well nowadays.
Not only that, he does gamble more than he's last time. I just couldn't understand, why wouldn't he just saves those money down rather than spilling them to the others? We might get a lot of money through savings and we wouldn't suffer for such a poor-ness right now. And losing from a gamble might be a reason of arousing his anger. He had a few times blabering loudly and scream to everyone at the house after he has came back.

His attitudes had undergone an overall change after that bloody incident. Why does he wanted to do so and ruined the family? A lovely and dear father which I used to love couldn't be pictured within my mind already. Now sometimes I do hate him instead of loving.

I might not be the same as the others. You all might say you should love your family more than everything in the world, but I don't think so. Some unlucky ones may be born in a sad family, while some in a happy one. Everyone's opinion on judging something is totally different. We couldn't change that other than accepting them...

I'm just don't know what to say. Forgive me...