A lot of people says than I'm from rich family, and you all have get it wrong. I'm not one of those lucky one, and I'm just born in a poor family which most of the people are in.

Being in a serious financial problem, the chance of me studying in a university might be a huge problem. My father doesn't has enough funds for paying my tuisyen fees for Acca even for just a semester. Things happened so bad until I'll need to depend on my grandfather's one just to continue my study.

With such problem's I'm facing, everyone must have thought that I'll be determined to finish this as soon as possible. Yeah, I've this kind of thought during the start of the year; but slowly, it has faded away and until now, the motivations are all just simply gone...

Why? I'm studying yeah right. What would you think that if someone just keep poking your back and blackmailing you with it? I've been tired with my life; being backstabbed occasionly by my grandfather just because of something, and he's just do it non-stopping. Even there's a few times, I didn't perform well and they're just keep bugging me saying that if I failed, they'll just kick me out to work and won't let me go for any further studying. I was really mad for it. I'm studying for myself, and I've done my best. You wouldn't just force people to improve by just urging them. If you're feeling wasting money on me, why don't you not starts the investing from the beginning? Halfway through only you're just saying that a single mistake would've revert everything back and I'll need to force to halt my studying. It's sucks seriously. My mood had been successfully wiped out by you, thanks grandy...
Until now, I seriously didn't touch much book, and around four days left until my doom.

I'm just love being myself, and why must you just keep bugging me about the things I've done wrong? Can't you just accept everyone's flaws? Do you think that you're way too perfect compared to me? You told me to get out of your house a few times before right? Yeah, I'd take my revenge someday in the future. I'd just be successful one day, and you shall pay for the tormenting you've done on my mental and my soul. I fed on vengeful nowadays, and no mercy shall be shown. If you're good, then next time you'd be able to stay by yourself...*evil grins*

I'm being evil, and I've no regret of being it. In this world, being too kind and soft hearted sometimes might lead you to be bullied and controlled by the others. I'll just collect those hatred down, and unleash them one day in the future, when the time comes...It's hard to grow up and being tough in such a tormenting surrounding, and I must go through these few years more. After that, I shall release the devil in within me. My tormenting will soon start, and no doubt...I'll be enjoying it...Hahahaha...

You all might say that I should be grateful, and shouldn't have done that. But no one would knows how painful I am everyday staying in home. I wish I could have a happy family, and good surroundings which I could grown up in peacefully. But it seems all of them turn out to be the opposite...
Those which I only have good feelings to in my house is only my mom and my brothers. I hate the others, with no doubt. The blazing hatred shall be released...one day, or buried for forever...

***Everyone has their own evil face, and I think this might be one part of my evil thoughts. I don't want to be controlled by the others. I don't want to be a ground which they stepped on, and torture my soul until I couldn't withstand. Anyway, who wish they'd be manipulated by the others?