Oh yeah, the end has come, yesterday was a totally sucky day, because there's something really BIG that happens to me...

You know, people always stated that those who're in love will turns into a fool, blinded. Yeah, now I'm agreed with them. I'm just one of those 'fool' after all...You know, 2 days ago I've just done an extremely stupid thing, which will be one of those stupid-iest thing I've ever done. I browsed friendster and found one of her college mate, adding her into my msn list. What's my motif? Truthfully I wasn't only for meeting and making friends, but mainly...I wanted to gain information of her...I just want to know her recent conditions, and that's all...I thought I can successfully pursue for such easy thing, but ended up...I get an extremely, hurting reply. Without hiding my feelings, I told her college mate that I like 'her'; but actually she's so smart that she can guess correctly with only one try...And sooner, she just told me that...'Don't Disturb Her...'

What? Am I disturbing and annoy her all the time? I think I finally gain the answer...She found me annoying, cos keep bugging her...There's no one time when she's online and I'll not message her; except for some really special reason. GOSH...I really cried upon hearing this, silently in my room grabbing my pillow, covering my face (luckily that everyone's alseep except for me). My heart crushed, once again. Those tears that I've been holding back automaticly flows out from my eyes. I don't know what for I cried, but they come out somehow. There's one thing, I didn't really cried enough, my thoughts still protest myself from keep crying, and I may continue tonight...

After all the time, I meant nothing to her? Yeah, I maybe know this from the starting, but at least can we be friends.....I just wanted to...talk to you just like we previously done last year...My god...I can't hold my tears anymore...Am I that annoying? If yes is her real answer, I shall banish my 'noisy' self, reconstruct my 'silent' self. I don't really like my silent self though, I can't stand not socialising, but who cares. No one will ever care about my appearance after all, it'd be better if I didn't make even a single noise, rather than making them feel disgusting of me.

I shall go to hell someday, to end my eternal suffering.