Okay, I've just paid a visit on friendster, and browsed her profile page. I take a look at each of her pictures, and something's happen. The pain that happens within my heart had become slightly lesser. It's not that pain compared to those scary 'heart aches' before.What's happening? What's going onto me? Do I fell in love to other girls that cause me to withstand less pain? NO~It's not...I already hurt deeply for a lot of time. There's something actually happened at the beginning of this year, and I want to write it out here, I can't stand for keeping them in my heart.I started my college life, and I've met quite a lot new friends. 1 of them is a girl, which I probably have an admiring crush on her which advances into love crush very quickly. Let's just name her, miss 'X'. I'm selfish, I try to force myself to love X, in order to forget about 'her'<-2nd crush...I begin to become annoying, keep on disturbing X in some ways. On Chinese New Year that night, I've phoned her and tell her my feelings. To be frank, ever since I've been rejected by my 1st crush, I've never dare to say the words 'I love you'. I've sputter my feel to her very and extremely carefully. As everything seems to be eternity, I've never dare to say the three words to X. She asked and do something like forcing me to tell her those words. I had brought up my courage, to tell her the three words daringly. She heard, and give me a reply saying that it's kinda odd to accept me just for such a short time of knowing each other, and no feel to me. I've already predicted the reply she'll give me at the beginning, so that didn't give me much shock. I grew more selfish, I continue on bother and annoy X. Eventually, something's horror happened. She get pissed off. She told me something that had impaled my heart. I immediately apologized, and promised her I'll never do those again. In the same time, I figured out something. My feel to 'her' didn't fade, but grew even stronger.What should I do? Actually I should thank X for letting such a selfish guy like me to figure out something. From now onwards, I'll push down and ignore all those feelings to the others, other than to her. I feel so sorry to her, and I promise I'll never do the same mistakes again.Umtil now, the feel to X already under my control; it's a sucess. I think the reason of not feeling hurt much nowadays is because of I already wounded enough, and immune to them already.
Waiting for your arrival @ 1:40 AM