Women���s English

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I���m sorry = You���ll be sorry
We need = I want
It���s your opinion = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You���ll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don���t want you to
I���m not upset = Of course I���m upset, you moron!
You are so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
The kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I���m going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you are going to hate
I���ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = [Too LATE, you are DEAD]

Men���s English

I���m hungry = I���m hungry
I���m sleepy = I���m sleepy
I���m tired = I���m tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I���d eventually like to sleep with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I���d eventually like to sleep with you
Can I call you sometime? = I���d eventually like to sleep with you
May I have this dance? = I���d eventually like to sleep with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to touch you
What���s wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it now?
I���m bored = Do you want to sleep?
I love you = Let���s sleep now!
I love you, too = Okay, I said it, now can we sleep?
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
Let���s talk = I���ll impress you by showing you I���m a deep guy then maybe you���ll sleep with
me?
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to sleep with others
I don���t think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I���m gay

There are a few more cold jokes from our beloved Mr. Jayan, a.k.a. Penguin Man...
Incident 1
Mr.Jayan: What's the answer?
Student A: C.
Mr.Jayan: (acted seriously) what c? c what?
Student A: ...............
Mr.Jayan: C for Cat...Muz mention out la....

Incident 2
Mr.Jayan: To whoever who failed Progress Test 1 & 2, you all must write a letter to appeal so that you can go for the real exam...You must write down the reasons why you fail, and 'I want to go for exam' on the letter...lolx...
=>sorry, I'm not criticizing those who've failed, but it's really darn funny...We aren't babies anymore...I think there's no need to write 'I want to go for exam' gua...lolx...

He's really rock. His cold jokes are superb, and I'm totally impressed xD