I've found that I maybe kinda 'immune' to those kind of 'wounds' already...Whenever I face them now, I hardly or will not cry out at all. I'm telling the truth, but those things are replaced by something which are more painful - Heart Aches

As I said before, Heart Aches will occurs anytime, mostly when I feel depress, or think about 'something'. Yesterday, I was taken down by a few strokes of heart aches, at least argh...10-15. Seriously they're quite painful man...10-15 leh! Darn pain until I almost can't breath, it's just like my heart about to crash/shatter again. Nowaday, my 'super glue' is running out, and I've no any extra of them at all, so what should I do now? Probably it'll used up really really soon, and I must start to devise for a plan, A.S.A.P

Love is such a bitter thing. For me, I've gain both good and bad from it. I've learnt to be more caring, I think? Learn to care about other people's feelings more compared to my older self? That time I'd probably do something without hesitation or thinking; but now I will think at least a bit before taking action. In the same time, I know, and without doubt I've grown up during the process. I can claim that I had grown matured a lot lorh (don't say I don't want face =P). And at last, I can get a small or some explaination for love, which I misunderstand the meaning of it when I'm small. Last time when I'm in primary, my only crush there which last until form 2 or form 5, is probably some 'admiring crush'. I just get attrached by her physical but not her inner, I think. But after my first and second crush in form 5, I've know what is call love a bit. Although I still don't know the meaning of love in my thinking maybe will be wrong, but I wish I can get a proper answer for it soon. With improved thinking, I've freed myself from playing games nowadays. In my home, I'll probably play less than 5 hours game a week, surprise isn't it, compared to my time spent on playing game last time which is abt...more than 70 hours per week I think...haha...xDAnyway, I still get something bad from it though. As I said before, Heart Ache is one of them. I don't want explaint about it already, cause I just keep repeating about it, over and over again...Mainly, the bads I receive mostly is pain. Heartaches, heart crush, tears, depress, and whatever...This is the true meaning of inner pain which I experienced. I didn't even touch them before I start to love someone eh...The goods are a lot more compared to the bad right? Yeah, that's why I didn't really regrats from doing so. It makes me learn to see the world from different angles? haha...think so...and teaches me a lot thing la, =P

Okay, a lot craps right? The main point of writing this blog is I'm still figuring whether I am telling a lie to self, or it's a truth? For me, I don't really think I've immunized myself from those 'wounds'. What I'm sure is I can or have a easier/better time to overcome these problem.
Don't know what to say more. I think I should stop. Mostly 70-80% things I've typed here are craps...If continue, I'll write more craps haha...Tommorow is my class gathering, and I hope I'll have a nice day...blek =P

posted on February 10, 2006 5:15 AM