Yeah, once again the depress feeling returns again...I also not really know why it's happening, but mainly is the old reason...

to tell a truth, for last & this month, there are maybe new crushes had appears? I can't really confirm that...After a deep thinking of few days, I still can 100% confirm that the feel to 'her' is still quite strong compared to others, and I'm not really willing to let the others overid it...Stupid choice right? Why I choose to continue suffer?I know I'm not a handsome guy, or a perfect or nice guy...I can't confirm that I can treat someone really nice, but I just want to try be in relationship only at least once, to learn a few things...I just want to learn to care someone I love more, I want to know the feel when in relation, I just want to improve myself...and other reasons more....is that that hard???

sometime I do really wish that I could be as attrachtive as those gangsters...they're cool, handsome, and nevertheless, they do get a lot attrachions from girls. A lot girls tend to like them, I still can't figure out the main reason...

One more thing...=.='.....I think better don't write it out, keep it secret is what should I do instead of writing it out...

Don't know what to do, now feel so depress, and feeling like continue writing my story...Too bad I'm out of idea right now...haiz...The story kinda = my life...I love it...Just like my source of life? and mental food? haha....nevermind don't care me I'm just crapping only...

posted on February 9, 2006 4:33 AM