The Forsaken
The world revolves around us, with or without my existence.. Searching for the right person..The bearer of the silent requiem..
67% Leo |
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Okay, 45 hours more, and it'll be fully one month for the last time I've ever talked with her. It's so torturing, I can't stand this any longer...I can't continue lying to myself, I know I'm still loving you, and you won't disappear within my heart so easily.
I want to cry...
I just wanna to talk with you, even a single 'hi' replied from you will cure almost everything, my sorrows, my depressions, and whatever related. My story, it's actually dedicated to you. To be frank, I care no one to read it other than you. I want you to know what am I thinking, and what's my feelings are.The same thing applies to my blog, and most of the those I've done I hope you're right by my side, reading and hearing them out; my singing is included (I know I'm bad at that)
Heartaching...
5 'Hi' messages through msn; no replies. 2 sms asking for your recent conditions; the history had been repeated. I can't continue on cheating myself saying that I don't love you anymore; I do love you, and more as day passes. This is getting worse, and I'm going to become insane. No one out there which I could really sputter out all of them; I'm just too scare they'll get bored and fed-up hearing my nonsense. My heart, the storage isn't enough already; exceeding limits, it'll crash eventually.
You..
Loving should be caring, sweet. And why would it turns out to be like this? Is it I've misunderstood the meaning of Love? Or maybe actually love's a tormenting word, which will only bring sufferings and tortures whoever taken part and inflict with it?
A single chance...
I just want to try once, confessing my feelings to you maybe. It should be actually on the day we finish Spm examination, but I'm just too afraid to do so, and ended up losing a precious chance. It doesn't look like I've any extra chance already. Once a golden opportunity slips away, it'll not come back and return most of the time. Yeah, I'm doomed. How should I ever confess now, with you don't even pick up a freaking phone, or replying a single message? Yeah, yeah, my mind's totally blank right now. I also don't know what am I talking...
Praying for your safety...
No need to be with her? Yeah, I said that and I've just protest that idea. I'm hypocrite, you know? How could I ever do that without even knowing her...her conditions? Just blankly wish? No...no...you're wrong. The feelings of comfortable not there. You'll not feel better if you don't know what's going onto her. It's just like a HUGE question mark slam to your mind, and those brain juices are squeezed out. It's almost the same like praying the success for someone you don't know, did I get it right?
End...
I wonder when you'll reply my message. It'll be the day of a miracle happens, I think. If she will ever send me a single message by herself (not replying my message...I mean, like she's online and she's the first who message me), that would be another mircale. There are just too many hopes for miracle in this world, and those which will be granted true are just a very diminish qunatity. It's just like too many output is needed, but too little input is inserted. Crapping though...
So...
I'll just be true to my feelings. I don't want to cheat myself no more. Yeah, I love you, more than anyone for now (And I can't promise that it'll last forever, since I don't know what will happen in the future).
Dreaming of you, Lx...
***
This has no relation to the article above...GOD...I'm falling dead. There are ways TOO many freaking secrets for me to keep within myself. Digging secrets are fun, but it's not going to be fun if you're going to seal them from leaking out from your lips. I've a very sad things which I wanted to share with people, or anyone; but I couldn't. There are certains stuff which you know you can't tell them out. So you people out there, stop digging people's secret right now, if you can't keep them just like me...I don't know I can keep them for how long more, hope they won't come out from me...